Relationship advice? HELP!?

ok so here it goes.. I am a gay male of age 18, and it all started a year and a half ago with my ex boyfriend, he was perfect and everything i wanted, fun, loving and always give me the time to see my friends without any questions asked he trusted me with all his heart .. after being with him for a full year he then became a little secretive and i found out on numerous occasions he was talking to other men behind my back about rude things ect... and swapping pictures.... i got a bit worried about it and it give me a terrible attitude towards him for it ( although i knew he would never cheat on me). But i still didnt like the idea of him talking to others behind my back! and so my attitude got worse and changed as a person i got very paronoid constantly ect and he didnt like it so he shut me up by hitting me, i dumped him on more than 4 occasions for it but always went back to him within a day either because i felt guilty or because i still loved him. and then one day i found myself with a friend telling me he ha just finished his boyfriend and i was relieved as i realy fancied him for a long time. and straight to the chance i dumped my boyfriend and was single for about a week and jumped into a relationship with my friend. and so my ex boyfriend who was gutted and couldnt believe it got sad and upset and lost alot of weight and begged me to take him back and i said no. and so life with my new boyfriend was perfect i loved it, but then things started to change.. he would take huffs and pick arguments when i wanted to go out with my friends and would stop me from going out drinking with them , i had just turned 18 and wanted to live the life of an 18 year old which still today i have not had. it turns out he is everything i dont want, he is paronoid, boring and doesnt trust me at all ! and we have stupidly moved of our parents houses and now live alone in a flat together which makes me hate him more. all my money goes into the flat and no money left for socialising ect.. and he knows that and loves the fact i dont have money to do anything. i love him, but i hate him to and dont know if i want to leave him for thease reasons or not. i have also been meeting up with my ex boyfriend just to talk as friends and we still love eachother that doesnt help me either and i know the life i would like is with him and i kind of want him back but dont want to leave my boyfriend either. and so i am VERY CONFUSED. my ex boyfriend also has a boyfriend to who resembles me in soo many ways, and this also stops me from going back to him i just dont know what to do :( please help! Thanks. x